Flowers and Chocolates and Broken Dreams
It’s never too late to claim a new life. It’s never too late for real love.
Flowers and chocolates, broken dreams.
Romance and kisses, silent screams.
Loving futures, years gone by.
Tears of joy, want to cry.
Brightest of morning, darkest of night.
Pureness of love, terror and fright.
Trust in the newness, worn by the old.
Feeling the warmth, frozen from cold.
We once believed, in all of our dreams.
That we could trust love, that words were not mean.
You showed us different, now different we are.
Survivors are strong — the strongest by far.
We don’t want words that cut like a knife.
We need one gift, a true and free life.
-In Recognition of the Love We Lost, by Susan Sparks
In Honor of Valentine’s Day and a New Day for All of Us…A Universal Truth About Love
Having lived with real love and having lived with abusive love, I have learned that there is a stark difference between the two. One is pure and strong and never dies. The other is toxic and corrosive and disguises itself as love, but is truly an impostor used to trick us. There is something born out of this notion that we all need to agree upon: love does not fail us, people do.
And not all people fail us. Someone did. Someone upon whom we once pinned all of our hopes and dreams, someone with whom we once saw our future unfolding, someone that we once thought we would spend the rest of our days with, failed us. That hurts. It cuts deep and it wounds us.
After this happens we are inclined not to trust love. Why would we want to? We once did and look what happened. The problem is that we put a lot of blame on love, and love really isn’t the culprit here. On this day of love, Valentine’s Day, it‘s a great time to remember what love is and what it can be.
Love is kind, it does not abuse. Love is generous, it does not withhold. Love is joyful, it is not scary. Love is freedom, it is not controlling. Love is a light that colors our lives, it is not the darkness that we keep within.
As Lord Byron so beautifully wrote:
…And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
When we are ready to approach love again it is important to remember that love did not fail us. If we truly believe that then we will never again step out there as complete beings. We will only stick a toe in the water and think it is burning hot. We will believe it hurts, but not really feel anything. It is our job to learn from our experiences. It is our job to become stronger from them. Then, it is our job, when we are ready, to approach love again with an open mind and an open heart.
I know from experience how difficult this is, and I still work at it every day. I have learned that love is an equal balance of feelings shared between two people: one does not always win, one does not always rule, and one does not always control. As SODA®s we once lived a life where we questioned love. But what we really needed to do was question the one who was telling us that they loved us. On Valentine’s Day and always, I wish you real love, peace, and joy. But more than anything, I wish you a happy and free life.
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The SODA Fund™ SODA® = Survivors Of Domestic Abuse
Home Should Be A Safe Place. For Everyone.™
Want to read the rest of Susan’s story and see what happened when she tried to leave? Check out Sparks in Love, on amazon.com.
Susan Sparks is a 20-year victim, and 7-year Survivor Of Domestic Abuse (SODA®). She is the author of Sparks in Love, and an Expert Blogger and Subject Matter Expert for multiple digital media sites. She works on select projects with The National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org) — donating a portion of proceeds from every sale of Sparks in Love to both The Hotline and The SODA Fund. Susan dedicates her time to raising awareness of domestic abuse in the hopes that she can prevent others from walking into abuse the way she did, and help others walk out of abuse on a safer path than the one she created for herself.
If you need help or want to help please visit www.thesodafund.org today.